I have a confession to make: My boobs are too big…

I am obviously not shaped to wear a bikini, because I can not find a bikini that really fits my (strange?) body.

See the picture in the end of this post and make a judgement yourself.

The bikini tops seems always too small for my boobs – they keep sneaking out all the time! And they are not THAT big, really!

What is the meaning with that small bikini tops, that the boobs shall be pressed out on the sides? Maybe I missed something here, tell me what, you guys.

For me it seems easier to just wear something around the nipples instead, because that is the only part that is not out in the sunlight. Hm, maybe that is a smart idea…..

Am I the only women in the world that is slim around the chest-back and have boobs? Or have the other ones already bought all that kind of bikinis so they are sold out?? Am I too late out in the stores?

I have looked everywhere, in a lot of countries, but no bikini for me. OK, maybe there was some if you want to look like a Christmas tree on the beach.

And no, I can not always go around topless, even if that had made you guys very happy…

Take the last time we tried to find one, for the brazillionty time – in Brazil. The staff in the stores must have sworn behind my back every time we went out from a store, after they have showed me all the bikinis in the store and no one with a top that was big enough…. or had colors that suited me! They were totally buried in bikinis when we left.

I mean, come on, orange, yellow or apple-green, that’s only suitable for sun tanned Brazilian people, not us pale Swedish people. But I would even have bought one of these if they only had fit….

I must say that they were rather uninterested of my problem. They kept showing me this tiny ones even after I had described the problem to get my boobs in there. – Not mine problem, I just want to sell a bikini today, does they all seemed to think.

All stores except one. There was a nice middle aged women with compassion, that was really service minded, even if she did not understand a word of English. She held up a bikini and Mr Lifecruiser hold his hand over it to show her that it was too small and she instantly understood the problem.

She gave him bikini after bikini that he handled over to me in the fitting room. Mr Lifecruiser was my bikini advicer and he shook his head all the time. He did not like how they looked on me. (Yes, he usually does like how I look without a bikini…)

But he did get hot, for some reason so she noticed that and even helped him out by waving with a piece of a cardboard in front of him to cool him off. That is what we call service minded!!!

And it did pay off – for her. I did buy a black and white bikini at last… that later turned out to have some extra features.

When the big waves in the sea did hit me, the bikini underwear had this amazing feature of falling of… and as an extra bonus I also got filled up with sand. Free ass peeling, not bad at all. The top was shielding a little bit too much, which means that I did get nice wide white stripes from the boobs and up around the neck too.

Yes, it happens sometimes that I find one that is big enough, but then it often looks like it could fit a70 year old lady. Really sexy ones. I am thinking of buying one to scare people off with. Could come in handy if the beach are very crowded.

OH, PLEASE , have I grown OLD already…?

So, I am a pale old newly ass-peeled grumpy women with too big, pinned boobs and white stripes….

What is your problem…..?