Happy Crazy Loving Shitty Drooling Nosepicking Many New Years Everyone :-)

- But Live and Enjoy as It would be your last year!!!

Now our celebration for our 2 years anniversery is over and I am allowed to be nasty again.

That earlier post from Mrs Lifecruiser demands a revenge post!!!! I let her wait a bit for the revenge, it is more fun then. What revenge shall I choose, I can see her thinking about it, worrying…. he…he…

It is not the first time we have a war. See the earlier war I started and the following posts above that one.

So what nasty story shall I come up with this time? *thinking*

Have I ever told you about the time when SHE was drooling? But not from her mouth… No, come to think about it, that one maybe is too private…. *teasing you*

No, I think I choose this really icky one instead….

It was in the very early beginning of our relationship, we were laying in bed (we do that a lot ;-) and I was laying behind her. Suddenly she made an attempt, so I thought, to turn around and put her hand on some of my really nice bodyparts….

WHAT THE HECK????!!! I had a finger in my nose!!!! And it was not mine!!!!

Was she a pervert? That likes to pick peoples noses? I could not think that she made this unbelievable direct hit in my right nostril partly from behind - without purpose.

Ok, I must say to her defence that the finger was out again as fast as it was going in there and without touching the walls in my nose, not even a scratch. Luckily enough, I was not having a cold at that time, who knows what could have followed the finger out then…?

She still keep repeating that it was not on purpose, but do we really believe that?

My crazy wife seems to have some obsessions with noses, even to put things in HER nose. I even got picture proof for it, see below.

  

And she does it everywhere, the proofs of doing it above is from both Fuerteventura, Spain and Natal, Brazil. (I just knew that this photos could come in handy some day!)

It is really exciting trips we do, you never know what she is up to - or should I say IN to??!!

“Every time you marry some one, you get a ring, so you can only marry 10 persons”.

[ Kristine, 7 year ]

In our case it is not necessery to have more than one finger, beacuse we are going to stay married - at least for 42 more years to come - and yes, to each other!

Why 42 years? Well, 2 years ago, when we first met, we just said for 44 more years, it just was totally natural for us.

So where does that leave us…? I am going to be 88 years old and Mr Lifecruiser 95 years old then.

What we are going to do after that 42 years? Then we will sit down in our wheelchairs at the elderly home and negotiate - for another 44 years!!!

Of course, at that age, we are not going to remember any bad times - if we had some - so we are totally stucked with each other and it is a lovely feeling indeed :-)

Here you can see what we are celebrating it with. (Only part of it…!)

- 1 bottle of Dom Perignon 1996
- Whitefish roe on eggs
- A long sweet kiss

The rest is……… totally predictable!!!

Hot stuff, red alert, fire alert!!!

Cheers everybody!

I am going to share something with you that maybe Mr Lifecruiser is going to revenge on me later, but what the heck, I take my chance….

A couple of nights ago we went to bed and as usual we have our little procedure before going to sleep. The first step (the second & third step I am not going to tell you ;-) is that I MUST lay my head on his shoulder with my face at the little cavity at his neck. This make his mouth end up at my forehead.

Suddenly I could feel that I got wet on my forehead - he had drooled on it!!! I took my hand up to the forehead to sweep it away and the hand was full of it…. When Mr Lifecruiser does something he does it properly, no holding back there!

Wow, I thought, he really must think that I am THAT hot, I mean drooling all over me ;-)

Then he made the mistake to make this clearifying statement: I must have falling in sleep. That made me suddenly fall down from being a really hot wife to the most unattractive wife that makes him fall a sleep….

Or maybe he thought that if I am being wet I get cooled off from the winds? What winds do you ask your self now. Well, maybe the fartwinds? *lol* (Actually, in Sweden we have a similar word that means something completely different: fartvindar. If I translate it to english it would say speed winds).

Come to think about it, there is a lot to write about fartwinds too, but I will save that part to another time. After all, we have a 2 year anniversery coming up soon, so I better be nice…

Anyway, I went to the bathroom, fixed my self up a little and went back to the bed, awaiting his reaction on my big improvement you can see on the photo below.

It was very much appreciated, I promise. He has a very practical wife, has he not?

I mean, that could come in handy in any kind of drooling in bed…

If any of you are curious of how we look, you can just look at this avatars from yahoo - or take a peek under our About section in the menu above to see (and read) more.

     

As usual, the pictures are a little bit (ok, not so little) flattering, but hey, allow us to be good looking at least for once in our lifes!!!

Do not miss the fact that the pictures can change from time to time.

One of the best features of christmas - except from all the yummy food (I am drooling heavily now) - is the lights and candles we use everywhere. It really lights up the winter darkness a lot here in Sweden.

Sometimes involuntary, a little bit too much…

It happened to me on the christmas eve, well not exactly as on the picture above, but never the less a frightening brightening.

There was living candles in a lamp hanging down from the roof that I managed to get in a little bit too close to without noticing it. Suddenly my brother and Mr Lifecruiser shouted: watch your hair! Luckily enough I reacted fairly fast and got away from there with my big tousled hair.

But I did have a nice sparkling going on there for a little while - probably the only time in my hole life that I will have a real halo around my head ;-)

Or maybe I am a real Angel without knowing it…?

And no, I had not decided to get a hair cut, even though the say that it is effective to burn your splitted hair ends.

I guess that they were scared that I was going bald, a horrifying sight that could kill anyone… I mean, how would I look without my hair….

Oh, boy, with my face and big potatoe nose…!!!

*falling down on the floor laughing myself to death just on the thought of it*

We strongly suspect that Santa got some problems this year delivering the christmas gifts.

Maybe that is why we got so few christmas gifts this year… ?

Or is it because we are so rude, demanding, selfish, without compassion, drunk, disrespectful, ungrateful, spoiled, childish, without charm, embarrasing, with big holes in our personalities, bad attitudes, spitting poison around us????

What do you think? Give us a clue.

Here you can see what we are doing this christmas:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL, HAVE FUN :-)

I have a confession to make: My boobs are too big…

I am obviously not shaped to wear a bikini, because I can not find a bikini that really fits my (strange?) body.

See the picture in the end of this post and make a judgement yourself.

The bikini tops seems always too small for my boobs - they keep sneaking out all the time! And they are not THAT big, really!

What is the meaning with that small bikini tops, that the boobs shall be pressed out on the sides? Maybe I missed something here, tell me what, you guys.

For me it seems easier to just wear something around the nipples instead, because that is the only part that is not out in the sunlight. Hm, maybe that is a smart idea…..

Am I the only women in the world that is slim around the chest-back and have boobs? Or have the other ones already bought all that kind of bikinis so they are solded out?? Am I too late out in the stores?

I have looked everywhere, in a lot of countrys, but no bikini for me. OK, maybe there was some if you want to look like a christmas tree on the beach.

And no, I can not always go around topless, even if that had made you guys very happy…

Take the last time we tried to find one, for the brazillionty time - in Brazil. The staff in the stores must have sworn behind my back every time we went out from a store, after they have showed me all the bikinis in the store and no one with a top that was big enough…. or had colors that suited me! They were totally buried in bikinis when we left.

I mean, come on, orange, yellow or applegreen, thats only suitable for sun tanned brazilian people, not us pale swedish people. But I would even have bought one of thoose if they only had fit….

I must say that they were rather uninterested of my problem. They kept showing me this tiny ones even after I had described the problem to get my boobs in there. - Not mine problem, I just want to sell a bikini today, does they all seemed to think.

All stores except one. There was a nice middle aged women with compassion, that was really serviceminded, even if she did not understand a word of english. She held up a bikini and Mr Lifecruiser hold his hand over it to show her that it was too small and she instantly understood the problem.

She gave him bikini after bikini that he handled over to me in the fitting room. Mr Lifecruiser was my bikini advicer and he shooked his head all the time. He did not like how they looked on me. (Yes, he usually does like how I look without a bikini…)

But he did get hot, for some reason ;-) so she noticed that and even helped him out by waving with a piece of a cardboard in front of him to cool him off. That is what we call serviceminded!!!

And it did pay off - for her. I did buy a black and white bikini at last… that later turned out to have some extra features.

When the big waves in the sea did hit me, the bikini underwear had this amazing feature of falling of… and as an extra bonus I also got filled up with sand. Free ass peeling, not bad at all. The top was shielding a little bit too much, which means that I did get nice wide white stripes from the boobs and up around the neck too.

Yes, it happens sometimes that I find one that is big enough, but then it often looks like it could fit a70 year old lady. Really sexy ones. I am thinking of buying one to scare people off with. Could come in handy if the beach are very crowded.

OH, PLEASE , have I grown OLD already…?

So, I am a pale old newly asspeeled grumpy women with too big, pinned boobs and white stripes….

What is your problem…..?

There is this old song that we can not resist. We just love it, our absolute favourite.

Hey, it is always a good thing to be good friends ;-)

It is really sweet, but never the less we must warn you that it do contain adult words:

Listen to Dear p*nis

Enjoy…..