Lifecruiser

I think I’ve become an ugly, dirty and unattractive poker widow.

The other day Mr Lifecruiser missed a very crucial thing. This looks very serious for our continued marriage. He was playing poker online out on the internet at the time of the crime.

We were talking about something obviously very important (and intelligent for sure) and I sort of wanted to make my point a little bit stronger, draw a b o t t o m line… So I did one of my favourite things: down with the pants and did the mooning. Waiting for the nice reaction of this normally very popular behaviour.

Nada! Nix, not a twinkle, not even a spank on the butt, nothing! What happened??!!! He didn’t even see it, he was so hooked up at the poker game….. At least he claims that it was the fact, but I wonder….?

Now there is this questions that pops up in my mind… Is he seriously ill? Because this have never happened before. Or have I suddenly become so very unattractive? Maybe I should go and scare someone else, just to test it?! The woman flasher…?

Hey… This could be really fun!

I could go around and scare a lot of people, in high positions too! I use to be full of energy over new projects, so I would probably pop up just about… everywhere… and all the time! No matter if it were at The Swedish Royal Castle or whatever. Mooning The Swedish king, what an honour!

I wonder how long it will take before they come to take me away? And where are they taking me? Can I go to jail for that or will they send me to get some mental care….?

I can se the headlines… *censorship-warnings* Wow, I will be famous!!!!!

Nahh, not my thing, I do NOT want to be famous. And it is very cold outside…

Maybe I have to take that shower after all…?

“It does not matter that the one you are together with is ugly, because you can wash his hair and give him new clean clothes and he will be fine”.

[ Siri, 7 year ]

How cute…. ? Why not accept him as he is? Who says that anyone is ugly? Is it possible at all to think that the one you love is ugly?

For me it is the inside that counts, really. If the inside is good, then the person is beutiful in my eyes. As the opposite, if the person know too well that he/she is handsome, they always act like they know it, taking advance of it etc. Then I found this person just plain awful.

The most ugly persons I know is the ones that think that they are so beutiful!!!

Come to think about it, Mr Lifecruiser needs a haircut… No, it is not me that want him to do that :-), he has been talking about it for several weeks now. I think it is interesting to see how long it will grow before he actually does it. I like to drag my fingers through his hair… and make it stand straight out from his head. There is no chance of that normally. He looks so cute then, like a crazy professor.

Maybe it is because I always look that way myself in the mornings….?

Like Einsteins sister, then you know the hairstyle exactly. Wild is the best word for it. I do not know what I am doing in the nights that creates this tousled hair of mine. Hm…. Or maybe it is Mr Lifecruiser that is making it tousled…? Anyway, I could do with a haircut myself, but do I really need it now? We have gone into hibernation, there is not going to be more than a few people that we see. No, it can wait.

So, we will see which one of us that does the first haircut….

We have come into a certain amount of sloppiness for the moment, bearly coping with the normal daily routines, forgetting about showers, not have the energy to wash the hair, brush our teeth until late, there surely is more importent things to do first….?

We blame it on the awful, awful winter, with the awful, awful snow. We really are in hibernation. We have got som provisions, so we do not go out if we are not forced to.

I can persuade myself of anything, as long as I do not need to go out in the cold….

No, we do not need more shampoo… We will wash the hair more seldom.
No, we do not need more soap… We do not need that shower, we skip this day, we have not moved much so how did we get dirty?
No, we do not need more tothpaste, we can skip the morning brushes… or the kisses… no wait, that one is too damn difficult!

Yes, we can live without bread.
Yes, we can survive without the butter.
Yes, we can drink water instead.
Yes, we can cook soup on a nail.
Yes, we can nibble on what we have in stock.
Yes, we can read recipes to drool over in the internet.
Yes, we can survive on our love.

We are ugly and dirty.

*door closed*

We did wake at 10.30 am today - that was even before the alarm went off, so of course we came up with the very unusual thought that we could sleep until it should go off.

The only problem was that the alarm didn’t go off. We still don’t know why.

We woke up at 3.35 pm with a feeling that it maybe was late…

It was expected to happen, because we went to bed rather late yesterday, at 1.30 am. That’s nothing you say. We agree, thats even early for us crazy ones.

Mind the fact: we had been awake for 37,5 hours!!!

We sort of never went to bed at the New Years Eve. And then in the morning around 10.30 we sat in front of our computers and said that we could not begin to sleep during day time, beacuse then we would screw up diurnal rhythm totally.

So we stayed awake and it was surprisingly easy. Sure, a couple of times we yawned but no more. The brain was working a little bit slow, but on the other side, that’s normal for us (that only have one brain together), so no big deal.

Maybe it was someone who got tired of us being slow and put something bracing in our champagne… or maybe we just are that crazy, who knows…

Now afterwards I can’t remember if we ever went in to the shower during that time, I hope we did. … How fresh we looked. I avoided the mirrors, but I still could see Mr Lifecruiser… Unshaved, with his very red eyes and with the hair standing straight out. So cute.

  

So this day is gone, it was already getting dark outside.

Now to the most important stuff here in life: to choose between breakfast, lunch or dinner, or all at the same time?

Any yummy suggestions?

Let us introduce you to one of our many PETS. This pet is a very very bad boy.

He humped Mr Lifecruisers leg one morning in the kitchen, obvious craving for some pet-thing… Luckily I heard Mr Lifecruisers scream for help and rescued him.

We suppose that it happened because he had a wild party all night long with a lot of his petbuddys, suffering from a bad hang over and - obviously - a lack of girls at the party.

There was his petbuddys, totally beaten by all the drinks, laying all over the floor, none of them were possible to talk any sense to. As usual, he only have buddys like that.

We are very concern about where he is going. *shaking our heads like every concerned parent would do*

Say Hello to Harry Petter caught at the very act:

OK, it might not be the best shot we taken, but how easy is it to take the picture when Mr Lifecruiser is shaking his leg all the time to get rid of the humping pet…?

This is a very special pet and he is rather demanding, we have to watch him all the time, he is always up to something. Come to think about it, maybe he is influenced by me…? *scary thought*

Once when we were in Scotland riding The Jacobite steam train, he was totally freaking out of control. He had set in his mind to step up on the roof on the train and was humping Mr Lifecruisers leg again!

OK, Mr Lifecruiser was on his way up on the roof too, but hey, there is a difference between them. I think….

So, there was Mr Lifecruiser, hanging out of the train halfway up on the roof, Harry Petter humping his leg as hard as he could, screaming about justice and me humping (?!) Mr Lifecruisers other leg, desperate to not let him go up there!!!

Ahh, that was a sight for gods, I almost thought that they was going to make a new movie about it ;-)

Come to think about it, maybe there is a movie about it somewhere, there is a lot of people with videocameras sneaking around everywhere nowadays… Probably we are just now shown in Japan somewhere…

Of course, my only concern was that Mr Lifecruiser would fall off the train and hurt him self. I mean, if so, who would carrie all my luggage for the rest of the trips? A wife always have to think practical.

Can you please recommend any sort of retreatment for this bad behaviour from him? Ehh.. I mean them…?