Silly Cow

Field Reporter: Miss Ass. Lifecruiser

All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From a Cow:

* Wake up in a happy mooo-d.
* Don’t cry over spilled milk.
* When chewing your cud, remember: There’s no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste!
* The grass is green on the other side of the fence.
* Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!
* It’s better to be seen and not herd.
* Honor thy fodder and thy mooo-ther and all your udder relatives.
* Never take any bull from anybody.
* Always let them know who’s the bossy.
* Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.
* Pick the spots to spread your cowpies.
* Black/Brown & white is always appropriate fashion.
* Don’t forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.
* Be mooo-dest.
* Be mooo-bile.
* Catch the mooo-ments.
* Be kind against your Cow-orker.
* Always act like a mooo-viestar.
* Don’t act like a mooo-ron.
* Always take time for mooo-nlight romance.
* Kick the ones that’s milking you badly.
* Don’t be a Cow-ard!